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Raising a Catholic Family in an Anti-Catholic World | Bishop Athanasius Schneider

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Interview Organization: Tan Books
Video Source: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AJXkpaAZbn4
Interviewer Name: TAN Academy
Date: December 13, 2022
Bishop Schneider emphasizes that Catholic families must transmit the faith through prayer, example, and sacrifice. He highlights the roles of parents, the importance of early formation, perseverance in difficult times, and fidelity to God, encouraging families to remain strong witnesses and to educate children in authentic Catholic life.

It is a pleasure for me to speak with you and good Catholics and family fathers. This is the hope for the renewal of the Church.

His upbringing in Central Asia:

Well, I consider this the greatest grace of my life, to have been born to a Catholic family where both parents were deep believing Catholics, father and mother, and not only them but also the grandparents from both sides were deep believing Catholics. And so I grew up in this ground, in this good soil, which I consider the greatest grace of my life, even more than the priesthood and the Episcopacy, because the Catholic faith is the greatest richness which we have here on earth. Because without faith, the true faith, we will not go to heaven. We will not fulfill the will of God. And therefore, the mission of the Catholic family.

So I received the Catholic faith, I would say, with the mother’s milk, and this should be done by all Catholic mothers. So since I can think and remember, I always prayed. My first remembrance was a prayer that my mother and my father taught me. My first remembrance from my childhood, when I was maybe three or four years old, was the family prayer. We were all kneeling together. I was the youngest. We were four siblings and our parents. We were kneeling down and praying. So this was my first remembrance from my childhood, and I am grateful to God that I could receive this.

The other thing that I remember is that I was observing my parents praying also. Not only did we pray together, but as a child, I could see how they prayed by themselves before going to bed or in the morning. And so this is what I would like to share first, the importance of family prayer, and to teach the child from the youngest age to pray. The mother has to give, as I repeat, with the mother’s milk, the faith.

My mother did this. When she was feeding us, she always said a prayer, so that with this material food, God would already bless the soul of the child. This is what my mother did. Then my mother told me that she always prayed to God as a girl, that God would send her a believing, a good Catholic husband, and God gave her this. She was called Mary, and my father was called Joseph. So Joseph and Mary both prayed that God would give them the spouse whom God had chosen.

Therefore, I would start, when we speak about family, before founding a family, with the young people who are now preparing themselves for marriage and family. For example, my grandmother always said to her children, to my mother, my uncles, and aunts, you do not have to seek your future husband in dancing parties and so on, but God will give you, when you pray, the good spouse whom He has chosen. My grandmother always taught this when the children were teenagers, when they could already understand the issue of family.

And so this is also the task of the parents, when the children are growing in this age, when they are already thinking about marriage, to say to them, please pray already now, start asking God to give you the spouse whom He has chosen from all eternity.

And it is also important, you see, the family is created by God. This is a creature of God, the most beautiful here on earth, because God chose the family to come to us, the Holy Family. I would also add this point, that for a family, it is good to include the grandparents. They have to build up a culture of Catholic generations. It is so important because it is an organic creature of God. And so it is good when grandparents believe and give their example also to their grandchildren by faith, not only the parents. Of course, the parents are the first ones, but also the grandparents.

This I would also add. And maybe those who are now in your age, 40, 50, you will become, maybe soon, also grandfathers and grandmothers. Then you have a task, very important, to transmit to the grandchildren the Catholic faith, also by example.

Advice for families about praying the rosary with young children:

Yes, I would say that for the youngest children who cannot concentrate, it is sufficient to pray maybe one decade of the rosary. For the older children, you can continue to pray the entire rosary with the parents. But for the little ones, one decade may be enough for them before they go to bed or at another suitable time. It depends on the family, and you can arrange it accordingly.

The idea is that for little children, the entire rosary might be too much, so it is better to give them a shorter prayer so that they will love it. And then, as they grow, they can add another decade, and another decade. In this way, it develops organically, and they grow into it.

This is the general rule, I would say.

When the children are growing, they can also understand that sometimes prayer can feel like a burden. But the parents can teach them that this brings blessings, that it is something positive. In school, for example, you also have to make an effort. Without effort, you cannot get a good diploma or succeed in a profession. So why not make an effort also in prayer?

But it is important to explain this to the children as something done out of love for God, not only as a duty. It should be shown as a time that is given exclusively to God, who is our Father, who gave us everything we have, who is so good to us, and who gave His life and blood for us on the cross. And then you can give Him maybe twenty minutes or half an hour.

When you explain the meaning of prayer as love and gratitude to God, it becomes more meaningful. Another important aspect in education is sacrifice, but in a positive way, that sometimes we have to make sacrifices in order to become stronger spiritually. Just as we do physical exercise for the body, in school and other areas, so also in religious life, we must show the positive meaning of sacrifice.

Advice for fathers, mothers, and children:

I would say to every Catholic father, you are a kind of Joseph, because there is no better example of a Catholic father than St Joseph, because God gave this man as an example. Also, it means a Catholic father, I think, has to give more of an example, not so much with words, but with his example, and show the children really this paternal goodness, this paternity. I mean that the children can trust in him, that he protects them, and simply gives an example. And so therefore, a father has to measure his words, because he is an example, especially then for the boys when they are growing. And to be just, and sometimes the father has to be also, I mean, severe in some situations, then he has to do this out of love for the children. So the motivation is to show them that this is for the benefit of these children. So the interior attitude of a father is, of course, this selflessness, to be really at a disposition for the children, for the family, to protect them, and give an example. So my advice is, dear fathers, give an example more than words, but give an example, especially in prayer and all. Even fathers have to exercise patience, patience, and then God will provide. Sometimes one has to pray. They can resolve all things, pray and trust in God, and He will resolve. And so this is my advice to the fathers.

The mothers, of course, are the heart of the family, and this is such a beautiful vocation to be a heart. And here, surely, here is Our Lady, the Mother, the best Mother that we have is Our Lady, the Blessed Virgin Mary. And so every Catholic mother has to imitate her to be a good mother. And here, I think that the Catholic mother should always be with the children, close to them, accompany them, and then also, of course, to pray. This is the first task of a mother, together with a father, and the mother is the heart. And dear mothers, try to show your children real love, so that they can always come to you in every situation. So the mother has to create an atmosphere of love in the family, and also in the future, when the children are growing, then they know, I can come to my mother. Even when they are adults, they can come to the mother, she can understand them, and even when not always there may be situations where a mother cannot agree with some decisions, but she has to show the love, that she is the heart where all the children can come. And so this is my advice for a Catholic mother.

For the children, of course, my advice to you is to always pray to God, that you will always keep love and reverence for your parents. This is inseparable, so you have to always have a kind of respect for your parents. This is commanded by God, and also love, and pray always that you will keep this respect, loving filial respect to your parents, even if maybe there could be some conflicts or disagreements, but you have always, dear children, to pray that you will keep, in any case, a deep respect and love for your parents, more gratitude for your parents, and of course, we have to pray for your parents also. This is to the children.

I would say, of course, try obedience. God will always bless the obedience of children when they are still minors. Of course, there could be some situations where adult children cannot obey their parents, for example, when one of the children wants to consecrate his or her life to God, either in the priesthood or in the monastery, and when the parents are contrary to this decision. I hope that Catholic parents should not be opposed to such a decision. But in this case, of course, the children have to obey God before the parents, but still keep respect and love for the parents always, and even when there are some disagreements, maybe on issues of daily life and so on, always keep respect for your parents and love.

How Catholic families can find joy and hope during difficult times:

This is a good question, and it is timely, because we are living in a difficult time. But we have to know that in every difficult time, God prepares special graces for us, which He gives in difficult times. I will say, difficult times grace, and these He prepares for families who are struggling to keep the faith and fidelity to God in this unbelieving and corrupt world in which we are living now.

As St Paul writes to the Christians, the first generation lived as children of God in the midst of a corrupted and perverted society. St Paul already wrote this. So we are now facing maybe even a worse situation than then. But you have to trust that God will give you, and is giving you, special graces when you are keeping your faith and continuing your witness.

And then I would say, you have to seek to stay and to teach your children to be witnesses. This is the second name of a Christian. Say from a young age, you are a Christian, you are a witness, and this is a beautiful task. And the other name of a Christian is to be courageous. So courageous, not timid, and politically correct. It is the contrary of Christian life. So you are a Christian boy, you are a Christian girl. You can say to your children, your second name is witness, to bear witness, and to be courageous. And this gives your dignity, personal dignity. It also enhances your personal dignity to be a courageous person, because you are faithful not to ideology, but to Christ, who is a person, who is God, who is my Savior, who is my King, who is the King of kings. To Him I am faithful.

So we have to teach the children continuously this fidelity to Christ, our Savior, our King, and our Lord. And then also, I think it would be good to teach the children and to read to them concrete examples from the saints, from the lives of the saints. There is good literature. We can read good stories to them. There are plenty of stories of good examples of martyrs of all ages, all times, and all states of life, children, youth, adults, and so on. So you can give them this literature, or watch some good videos or films about courageous witness. And this will remain in the memory of the children. From childhood, they will remember these stories of good Christian witness.

And there are also modern witnesses, from recent times of persecution under communism. We can also find them in good literature. So I would encourage this. And for the boys, it would be good to train them, maybe in Scout groups, in good Catholic groups, for typical manly courage. It is not only spiritual, but also human, to improve this attitude of witness and courage.

Homeschooling:

Well, today, as I see in the Western world, public schools are already contaminated with anti-Christian ideology, immorality, and gender ideology, and I think it is quite impossible to send children to public schools. At least we have good Catholic schools that are still independent and have a good program, even a good moral program. This can also be a good situation, a good solution, to send children to good Catholic schools. I mean truly Catholic schools, not only Catholic schools in name, but authentic ones.

For example, in France, I have made some visits to good private Catholic schools where a priest is a chaplain, where the school has a chapel, and there is Holy Mass every day. Those who want can come, and during the day, during breaks, some children can go to the chapel and adore the Blessed Sacrament. This also creates a sense of community, that we are not alone. This is also a positive value of a good Catholic school.

But if this is not possible, or for various reasons, then homeschooling is a good solution for the education of children. And in this system of homeschooling, it could be good if some families join together. This helps to save energy and resources, but also to create a small community, because children need friends and a small community. This is good for them.

I think that, where possible, it is good for some families to join together so that the children can play together. This is very important for a child, so that they can develop through playing with other children, in their behavior as well.

It can also help to give a patron saint to the homeschool, maybe a youth saint, so that the children can invoke him for protection and help, and imitate him.

In homeschooling, it is also important to include recreational moments for children. It is important to do some kind of scouting work with them so they can explore nature. And of course, besides prayer and religious formation, this is also important.

Advice for homeschooling parents who are feeling the stress of homeschooling:

Well, I think in this case you have to take into account your strengths physically and mentally, and do what you can not to overburden yourself, because mothers still have other children. They also have housework, and so it should also be considered as part of her tasks as a housewife. Therefore, it may be good to prudently distribute the amount of lessons for homeschooling, to reduce them so that it is not harm you or overload you excessively.

It may also help to invite a teacher to the home for some classes, for example, a mathematics teacher, or subjects that are neutral. I mean, where can you invite a good person, even if they are not very religious, but who can teach objective scientific subjects like geography? Other subjects, which are more delicate, like history or literature, where ideology can enter, you can keep for yourself. But the simple, objective scientific lessons, you can have another person teach, so as to balance your capacity.

Books recommended for children to read:

I was not reading English, but I think simply the good lives of the saints. I mean, they are collections of the saints. It would also be good to read them, and they are also in English, for example, Butler. There are various volumes of Butler, Albert Butler, for the life of saints, for example.

And yes, or others more recent, good collections of biographies of saints, or simply of heroic persons. So you can find them and good stories. It is always important to give children good examples, stories, or good examples from history, from church history, or similar things that are positive and have an educational value.

Then also, possibly when the children are growing, apologetical literature, apologetics, defense of our faith. Here you can use a lot of material from Archbishop Fulton Shreem, his lectures. There are plenty of apologetical themes, for example, even very valuable for the English-speaking world, “The lessons of Fulton Shreem.”

Blessed Oleksa Zarytsky:

Well, his name was Alexi Zarytsky. He was a Ukrainian priest. He was born close to Lviv in Western Ukraine, and even though in the Ukrainian Greek Catholic Church, priests can marry, he consciously decided to be a celibate priest. He was a seminarian in order to dedicate himself completely to the souls of the Lord. Even though he could legitimately have been a married priest, he opted to be a celibate priest, not a religious priest, but to be in the world as a celibate priest.

He was a very zealous young priest in his parish.

Then, when the communists came, they forced all the Greek Catholic priests in Ukraine to renounce the Catholic faith. It meant renouncing unity with the Pope in Rome and accepting the Orthodox Patriarchate of Moscow. He refused this. Therefore, he was arrested by the secret police and had to stand trial.

They said to him that he did not have to renounce Christ because the Orthodox Church has the same sacraments. He only had to renounce one point of the Catholic faith, the papacy, and accept being an Orthodox priest, no longer in union with Rome.

He answered that if he would renounce the papal primacy, the papacy, he would renounce the entire Gospel. He said to the judge that for him it was the same as renouncing the entire Gospel. He did not renounce fidelity to the Roman Apostolic See.

Therefore, he was imprisoned. Before that, they even told him he could become a bishop if he renounced his fidelity to the Holy See and became independent from it. He refused, fully aware of the consequences of his fidelity, including prison.

He was sent to Siberia, to various concentration camps, where people usually died because of horrible and inhuman conditions. He remained faithful. When he was freed from the camp, he was sent to Kazakhstan from Siberia to a kind of house arrest. He could not move. He had to remain in the city and was always under the control of the secret police.

He heard that there were many Catholics without priests. This was in the 1950s, at the beginning of the 1960s in the last century. He began traveling all around the Soviet Union secretly, illegally, against the law. He had no passport; it had been taken away.

He traveled only to save souls. He was conscious that if the police arrested him again, he would be sent back to the camps. Living under house arrest in Karaganda, Kazakhstan, was at least better than a concentration camp.

He traveled and came to my parents in the Ural Mountains, where my parents were also under surveillance by the police. This was the situation of my parents in the Ural Mountains. There were thousands of Catholics, Germans among them, and Father Alexei came secretly to them frequently, maybe twice a year. It was considered frequent because, before his arrival, the people had no priest for ten years.

My parents and grandparents lived almost ten years without sacraments, but they kept the Catholic faith through daily prayers of the Rosary, daily reading of the Catechism, short parts of a good catechism, biblical stories, the Stations of the Cross, and so on.

They baptized their children themselves because there was no priest. At least they could baptize their children and also arrange marriages. According to canon law, when there is no priest for a long time, spouses can validly marry before witnesses.

So these Catholics did so, celebrating marriages in emergency situations and baptizing children themselves. Mothers and grandmothers baptized the children. I myself was baptized by my mother.

Then the priest came, and he spent all the days there, hearing confessions day and night, because there were thousands of people. When he came only once or twice a year, they all had to confess. He never knew when the police might come, because at any moment, the police could arrive, and sometimes it happened.

And so he could not even rest, because his conscience was so delicate that he said, I cannot rest now, because then maybe ten or twenty people cannot receive absolution for their sins. I have to hear their confessions.

And so he celebrated Mass, always at night, and then gave Holy Communion. After that, he would flee to another place, always disguised in different clothes.

Once, there was a situation where he had just begun to celebrate Mass, and my mother was present. The police were arriving, not yet inside, but already entering another part of the German ghetto where they lived together in a small section of the city.

My mother said to him, Father Alexi, come, I have to hide you because the police are coming. She took him and brought him out of the German ghetto to another part, another street where Russian people were living. There was a small room, and she placed him there and locked the room. Before locking it, she left some food so he could eat.

Then she said, now, Father Alexi, you can rest. I will lock you so you can rest and eat something. When it gets dark, we will flee from here.

It was winter. When it became dark, maybe around five o’clock in the afternoon, she came with her aunt, the sister of my grandfather, and they both took him. They fled through the night, about twelve kilometers in the snow, in minus thirty degrees, in freezing conditions.

They reached the next railway station, a small village. They were waiting for the train so he could flee to another city.

My mother bought the ticket for Father Alexi. It was a very small waiting room, and they were waiting for the train.

Suddenly, the door opened, and the police entered. They went directly toward Father Alexi. He saw them coming. My mother was on one side, and he was on the other.

The policeman asked him, where are you going. He was so shocked he could not answer. My mother said, “This is our friend, we are accompanying him.

She took the ticket and gave it to the policeman, and said, see, here is the ticket. The policeman looked at it and then said to Father Alexi, please do not enter the last car of the train, it will be detached at the next station. I wish you a good trip.

Then he left, and no one saw that policeman again. Father Alexi said to my mother, this was an angel whom God sent us. I will be grateful to you all my life for what you have done for me, because it was dangerous for you. If you had been arrested, you would have gone to prison, and you had two small children at home.

Then Father Alexi said to my mother that at every Holy Mass he would pray for her and her children, and if God allowed, he would visit them again.

After one or two years, my parents moved from the Ural Mountains. They were freed and could move. They went from the Ural Mountains to Central Asia, to Kyrgyzstan, where I was born, in Central Asia, south of Kazakhstan, on the border with China.

There we had a small house. He found us again. He traveled a thousand kilometers from Karaganda to Kyrgyzstan to find us, and then he celebrated Holy Mass secretly in our house. I was a small child.

I was one year old, and my mother put the cradle on the side where he was celebrating. So I was already his little boy when I was one year old. Then he blessed me, as my mother and the other siblings said. After that, he had to flee.

When he later entered Kazakhstan again after visiting us, he was arrested immediately by the secret police, the KGB, and put in a concentration camp prison. There he suffered. He was tortured and suffered for one and a half years. As a consequence of this, he died. Therefore, he is beatified as a martyr.

In this, Father Alexi said that the Catholic faith is our greatest richness, and that this is the faith of our fathers. He said to keep this faith faithfully. He also said that even if you have all the riches of this life but do not have faith, you have nothing. But if you have the Catholic faith, even if you have almost nothing in material goods, you possess everything. He repeated this several times, and he experienced it in his life.

For me, he is a modern saint of our times, Father Alexi. He also left very good advice for families. I would share this with you from one of his letters to his brother. His brother was married, and he gave him some advice. He said that here on earth, there is no happier life than that of a husband and wife who are Catholic, faithful, and who love and respect each other.

He wrote that marriage is a perpetual school of love. He also said that the secret of family life, especially marriage life, is continuous practice in acts of self-renunciation. Sometimes one must yield to the other, and then the other to the one. He said it must be mutual.

This is the secret, that out of love for each other we must sometimes renounce our own words, remain silent, accept something from the other, even when it is difficult. And the other must do the same. It is mutual. Husband and wife must exercise this, and it is also a grace. This is the mutual school of love, as Blessed Alexei said.

As for my own family, my mother always told me, especially when I was a priest in Rome and called her regularly, that my last duty was always to remain faithful to Jesus. When I became a bishop, she was still alive. One priest friend of our family came to congratulate her on my appointment. She said that my son becoming a bishop is not so important to me, but what is most important is that he remains faithful to Jesus. I am very grateful for this.

My father also loved my mother very much. When we were already adults with four siblings, sometimes when we were sitting together as a family, my father would begin to cry and say, “My children, I have the best wife God has given me in my life, your mother. He did not say this when we were small because we would not have understood, but when we became adults, he said it to us. This is a beautiful witness for Catholic husbands: show your children that you love and respect your wife, and it must be mutual.

My parents also often told us the words of the Lord: seek first the Kingdom of God and all the rest will be given to you. They told us that they lived by these words all their married life. In difficult situations in the Soviet Union, we were not rich, but we had enough to live with dignity. We were not wealthy, but it was sufficient, and it was good.

God always provides what is necessary for us so we can live in His dignity, not with richness and wealth, no, but with dignity, and we are strengthened by faith. And when God gives you more, then you have to accept this with gratitude, more wealth to do good works.

In my final words, first I would like, as a bishop, to thank you, good Catholic fathers, good Catholic mothers who are hearing me, and especially those who have large families. Yes, you have accepted the children whom God gave. I would like to thank you, and even the sacrifices, but it is worthwhile, because you gave to God the citizens of heaven. Your children will be citizens of heaven, we hope, for all eternity. Please continue your generosity. God is always more generous when you are generous with Him and accept the children with love. Every child, accept with love every child, even if it will be the 10th and so on, but accept with love, and God will provide.

This is my gratitude to you, dear parents of large families, and also thank you for your witness in this difficult life, which you are now doing in homeschooling. Please continue this. Maybe it would be good to make a group of families in your neighborhood, and strengthen each other, to have some meetings, maybe, and to have a priest who is a good priest, who is really a priest who can give you good advice as a father, a spiritual father to your families, to this group of families. Maybe pray that God will give you a good priest in your neighborhood or in the area where you are living. Maybe it would be sufficient if this priest could come periodically, not so often, but it would be sufficient. As in our time, Father Alexi came twice a year, and then it was sufficient. Then, for us, he gave us so much spiritual nourishment. And today, the priest can give you talks through Skype, Zoom, and other means, so it is also possible.

This is what I would say. Continue, because prayer in the family is the most important. And ask the Lord and the Holy Family that you will practice and always strive to practice mutual love, forgiveness, and patience. This is so necessary and so beautiful. And then consecrate, repeatedly, to the Holy Family.

Dominus vobiscum, et cum, spiritu tuo. Et benedictio dei omnipotentis, Patris et Filii et spiritus Santi descendant, super vos et maneat semper. Amen

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