Christopher Wendt: Good evening, everyone. Good evening, Your Excellency. I greet all members of the Confraternity and all guests to this broadcast. This is the last broadcast of the year, and we are going to have a catechism lesson tonight on the sacrament of holy matrimony. But before we get started, Your Excellency, could you please lead us in a prayer?
His Excellency: In nomine Patris et Filii et Spiritus Sancti. Amen.
Ave Maria, gratia plena, Dominus tecum, benedicta tu in mulieribus, et benedictus fructus ventris tui, Iesus. Sancta Maria, Mater Dei, ora pro nobis peccatoribus, nunc et in hora mortis nostrae. Amen.
Gloria Patri et Filio et Spiritui Sancto. Amen.
Christopher Wendt: Before we get started, just a few announcements. One is, if you have not gotten a copy yet of His Excellency’s book Credo, as always, I highly recommend it. It is one of the best gifts you can give your family for Christmas. You can pick it up on Amazon, at any other Catholic bookstore, or from Sophia Press. You really should have this for your family. It is a great summary of the true faith, and it deals with a lot of the controversies and errors of our time. Without further ado, I am going to turn this over to His Excellency, and he will teach us about the sacrament of holy matrimony.
His Excellency: The sacrament of holy matrimony. First, we will look at the expression and the name. The word “matrimony” is derived from the fact that the principal objective a woman should propose to herself in marriage is to become a mother. Therefore, the Latin term mater leads to matrimonium, or it may come from the fact that it belongs to a mother to conceive, bring forth, and educate her children. It is also called wedlock, in Latin conjugium, from joining together, because a lawful wife is united to her husband as if by a common yoke. It is also called nuptials because, as Saint Ambrose observes, the bride veiled her face through modesty.
The definition of matrimony, according to the general opinion of theologians, is the conjugal union of a man and a woman contracted between two qualified persons, which obliges them to live together throughout life. In order that the different parts of this definition may be better understood, we can first look at the words and then explain the meaning. The special character of this union is marked by the word conjugal. This word is added because other contracts in which men and women bind themselves to help each other in consideration of money received or other reasons differ essentially from this contract of matrimony.
Next, follow the words “between qualified persons,” for persons excluded by law cannot contract marriage, and if they do, their marriage is invalid. Persons, for instance, within the fourth degree of kinship that includes parents, children, grandparents, grandchildren, brothers, sisters, uncles, aunts, nephews, nieces, and cousins, are forbidden to marry within this relationship. Also, a male before his sixteenth year and a female before her fifteenth year cannot contract a valid matrimony according to Canon Law.
Now, regarding the essence and the cause of marriage. Marriage consists of the tie, in the bond. Mutual consent is the efficient cause of marriage because, without consent and contract, the obligation and bond cannot possibly exist.
Regarding the kind of consent required in matrimony, it is most necessary that the consent be expressed in words denoting the present time. It must be mutual. Marriage is not a mere donation but a mutual agreement, and therefore, the consent of only one party is insufficient for marriage. The consent of both is essential. It must also be external, meaning that this consent must be declared through words, which are obviously necessary. Of course, there are special cases when people cannot speak, but even then, they must give some external sign.
As for the requirement of the present time, the consent must be expressed in words that refer to the present moment. The marriage contract is not a mere promise for the future but a transfer of rights by which the man actually yields the dominion of his body to the woman, and the woman yields the dominion of her body to the man. It must, therefore, be made in words that designate the present time. The force of these words abides with undiminished efficacy from the moment they are uttered and binds the husband and wife by a tie that cannot be broken.
The essence of marriage is constituted by consent. The nature and force of marriage consist of the tie and obligation, and even without the consummation of the marriage, the consent of the parties is sufficient to constitute a valid and true marriage. It is certain that our first parents, Adam and Eve, before their fall, when, according to the Fathers of the Church, there was no consummation of their marriage, were truly united in marriage. Adam and Eve did not yet consummate their union, yet their marriage was real. Hence, the Fathers of the Church say that marriage consists not in its use but in the consent. This doctrine is repeated by Saint Ambrose and other Fathers.
Now we consider the teaching of the Church and the twofold consideration of marriage. Matrimony is to be considered from two points of view: either as a natural union, since it was not invented by man but instituted by God, the creator of nature, or as a sacrament, the efficacy of which transcends the order of nature. Marriage is a natural contract. Let us first look at this aspect, as grace perfects nature.
The order of our subject requires that we first treat matrimony as a natural contract, imposing natural duties, and then consider what pertains to it as a sacrament, now instituted by God. Marriage was instituted by God. We read in Genesis that God created male and female and blessed them, saying, “Increase and multiply,” and also, “It is not good for man to be alone. Let us make him a help like unto himself.” A little further on, it is written, “But for Adam, there was not found a helper like himself.” Then the Lord God cast a deep sleep upon Adam, and while he was fast asleep, He took one of his ribs and filled up the flesh in its place. The Lord God built the rib that He had taken from Adam into a woman and brought her to Adam. Adam said, “This is now bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh. She shall be called woman because she was taken out of man.”
In the Hebrew expression, “man” and “woman” reflect a kind of feminine grammatical form of the word for man, similar to the Latin vir and virago. Therefore, this distinction is better understood in Hebrew and Latin than in English or other languages.
The book of Genesis continues, saying, “A man shall leave his father and mother and shall cleave to his wife, and they shall be two in one flesh.” These words, according to the authority of our Lord Himself, as we read in Saint Matthew, prove the divine institution of matrimony. Matrimony is therefore indissoluble by divine law. Not only did God institute marriage, but He also, as the Council of Trent declares, rendered it perpetual and indissoluble during this life on earth, until death. What God has joined together, let not man separate.
Although it belongs to marriage as a natural contract to be indissoluble, its indissolubility arises principally from its nature as a sacrament. It is the sacramental character that elevates marriage in all its natural relations to the highest perfection. In any case, dissolubility is directly opposed to the proper education of children and to the other advantages of marriage.
Marriage is not obligatory for all. The words “increase and multiply,” which were uttered by the Lord, do not impose on every individual an obligation to marry but only declare the purpose of the institution of marriage. Now that the human race is widely diffused, not only is there no law making marriage obligatory, but on the contrary, virginity is highly exalted and strongly recommended in the Holy Scripture as superior to marriage and as a state of greater perfection and holiness. As Saint Paul the Apostle says, “He who marries his betrothed does well, and he who refrains from marriage will do even better” (First Corinthians 7:38). The Council of Trent and the tradition of the Church also confirm this teaching: objectively speaking, virginity for God’s sake is higher than marriage. This has been the constant teaching from Saint Paul through the entire tradition of the Church. This is an objective judgment, not a subjective one based on personal motives.
Now let us look at the ends and finality of marriage, and why men and women should be joined in marriage. Nature itself, by an instinct implanted in both sexes, impels them toward such companionship.
A first reason for marriage is the desire for family not so much, however, with a view to living after us or to inherit our property and fortune, but to bring up children in the true faith and have them serve God. This was the principal object of the holy patriarchs, as we read in the Old Testament, where the merit is clear. Hence, the angel, when informing Tobias of the means of repelling the violent assaults of the evil demon, says in the book of Tobias, “I will show thee who they are over whom the devil can prevail. For they who receive matrimony in such a manner as to shut out God from themselves and from their minds and give themselves over to their lust, like horses and mules who have no understanding, the devil has power over them.” He then adds, “Thou shalt take the virgin with the fear of the Lord, moved rather by love of children than by lust, so that in the seat of Abraham, thou mayest obtain a blessing in your children.” It was also for this reason that God instituted marriage from the beginning. Therefore, married persons who prevent conception or procure abortion are guilty of a most heinous crime, nothing less than a wicked conspiracy to commit murder, as the Catechism of the Council of Trent states.
A second reason is the mutual loving assistance in bearing more easily the discomforts of life and the infirmities of old age.
A third reason is a consequence of the fall of our first parents. On account of the loss of original innocence, the passions began to rise in rebellion against the right reason. Man, conscious of his own frailty and unwilling to fight the battles of the flesh, is supplied by marriage with an antidote to avoid sins of lust. For fear of fornication, the Apostle says, “Let every man have his own wife, and let every woman have her own husband.” A little later, the Apostle recommends to married persons a temporary abstinence from the marriage bed in order to devote themselves to prayer. He adds, “Return together again, live together, lest Satan tempt you because of your incontinence.”
These are some of the ends which those who desire to contract marriage piously and religiously, as become the children of the saints, should propose to themselves. If to these we add other causes that induce one to contract marriage and, in choosing a wife, to prefer one person to another such as the desire for living together, beauty, social status, or congeniality of disposition such motives, because they are not inconsistent with the holiness of marriage, are allowed and valid. We do not find that the Sacred Scriptures condemn the patriarch Jacob for having chosen Rachel for her beauty in preference to Leah
Marriage, considered as a sacrament, is far superior in its sacramental aspect and aims at an incomparably higher end than matrimony as a natural contract. While marriage as a natural union was instituted from the beginning to propagate the human race, the sacramental dignity was subsequently conferred upon it so that a people might be begotten and brought up for the service and worship of the true God, Christ our Savior. When Christ our Lord wished to give a sign of the intimate union that exists between Him and His Church and of His immense love for us, He chose especially the sacred union of man and wife. That this sign was most appropriate will readily appear from the fact that of all human relations, there is none that binds so closely as the marriage tie, and from the fact that husband and wife are bound to one another by the bonds of the greatest affection and love.
Hence it is that Holy Scripture so frequently represents to us the divine union of Christ and the Church under the figure of marriage. Marriage is a sacrament. The sacrament of matrimony is a sacrament of the Church. The Church, following the authority of the Apostle, has always held this to be certain and incontestable. In his epistle to the Ephesians, Saint Paul writes, “Men should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself, for no man ever hated his own flesh but nourishes it and cherishes it, as also Christ does the Church. For we are members of His body, of His flesh, and of His bones. For this cause, a man shall leave his father and mother and shall adhere to his wife, and they shall be two in one flesh. This is a great sacrament. But I speak in Christ and in the Church.”
These words of Saint Paul in Holy Scripture undoubtedly refer to matrimony and must be taken to mean that the union of man and wife, which has God for its author, is a sacrament a sacred sign of that most holy union that binds Christ, our Lord, to His Church. This is the true and proper meaning of the Apostle’s words.
These words are explained by the ancient holy Fathers of the Church, who have interpreted them, and by the explanation furnished by the Council of Trent. It is indubitable, therefore, that the Apostle compares the husband to Christ and the wife to the Church. The husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the Church. For this very reason, the husband should love his wife, and the wife should love and respect her husband. Christ loved His Church and gave Himself for her. As the same Apostle teaches, the Church is subject to Christ. This grace is also signified and conferred by this sacrament, which is a property that constitutes the principal characteristic of each sacrament.
The Council of Trent declares this as follows: by His passion, Christ, the author, and perfecter of the venerable sacraments, merited for us a grace that perfects the natural love of husband and wife, confirms their union, and sanctifies them.
Let us now look at marriage before Christ. Before Christ, marriage was not a sacrament. How much the Sacrament of Matrimony is superior to marriages made both previous to and under the Mosaic law may be judged from the fact that though the Gentiles the pagans themselves were convinced there was something divine in marriage and, for that reason, regarded promiscuous intercourse as contrary to the law of nature, and considered fornication, adultery, and other kinds of impurity to be punishable offenses, yet their marriages never had any sacramental value.
Among the Jews, the laws of marriage were observed far more religiously than by the pagans, as they had received from God the promise that in the seed of Abraham, all nations should be blessed. It was justly considered by them to be a very pious duty to bring forth children and thus contribute to the propagation of the chosen people from whom Christ, the Lord and Savior, was to derive His birth and human nature. Still, their unions also fell short of the real nature of a sacrament.
Before Christ, marriage had fallen from its primitive unity and indissolubility. If we consider the law of nature after the fall and the Law of Moses, we shall easily see that marriage had fallen from its original honor and purity.
Thus, under the law of nature, we read that many of the ancient patriarchs had several wives at the same time. Under the Law of Moses, it was permissible, should a cause exist, to repudiate one’s wife by giving her a bill of divorce. Both these concessions have been suppressed by the law of the Gospel, and marriage has been restored to its original state.
Christ restored to marriage its primitive qualities, first, the unity of marriage. Though some of the ancient patriarchs are not to be blamed for having married several wives, since they did not act thus without divine dispensation, Christ our Lord has clearly shown that polygamy is not in keeping with the nature of matrimony. These are His words: “For this cause shall a man leave father and mother and shall cleave to his wife, and they shall be two in one flesh.” He adds, “Wherefore they are no more two, but one flesh.” In these words, the Lord makes it clear that God instituted marriage to be the union of two and only two persons. The same truth He has taught very distinctly in another passage, where He says, “Whosoever shall put away his wife and marry another commits adultery against her, and if the wife shall put away her husband and be married to another, she commits adultery.”
For if it were lawful for a man to have several wives, there would be no reason why he who takes to himself a second wife along with the wife he already has should be regarded as more guilty of adultery than if he had dismissed his first wife and taken a second.
Hence it is that when a pagan or infidel, following the customs of his country, has married several wives and happens to be converted to the Catholic faith, the Church orders him to dismiss all wives but the first and regard her alone as his true and lawful wife.
Then, the indissolubility of marriage: if by a bill of divorce, a woman were freed from the law that binds her to her husband, she might marry another husband without being in the least guilty of adultery. Yet our Lord says clearly, “Whosoever shall put away his wife and shall marry another commits adultery.” Hence, it is plain that the bond of marriage can be dissolved by death alone, as is confirmed by the Apostle Paul when he says, “A woman is bound by the law as long as her husband lives, but if her husband dies, she is at liberty; let her marry whom she will, yet only in the Lord.” Again, “To them that are married, not I, but the Lord commands.”
The Apostle teaches that a wife should not depart from her husband, and if she does depart, she should remain unmarried or be reconciled to her husband. To divide, then, who for just cause has left her husband, the Apostle Paul offers this alternative: let her either remain unmarried or be reconciled to her husband. Nor does the Holy Church permit husband and wife to separate without weighty reasons.
Let us now consider the three blessings of marriage. The faithful should be shown that there are three blessings of marriage: children, fidelity, and the sacrament. These blessings, to some degree, compensate for the inconveniences referred to by the Apostle in these words: “Such shall have tribulation of the flesh.” The merit of marriage leads to this other result that sexual intercourse, which is sinful outside of marriage, is rendered right, lawful, and honorable within a valid marriage.
The first blessing is offspring children born of a true and lawful family in marriage. So highly did the Apostle esteem this blessing that he said, “The woman shall be saved by bearing children.” These words are to be understood not only of bearing children but also of bringing them up, educating them, and training them in the practice of piety and true faith.
The second blessing is fidelity, not the virtue we receive in baptism, but the fidelity that binds wife to husband and husband to wife in such a way that they mutually deliver to each other the power over their bodies, promising at the same time never to violate the holy bond of matrimony. This is easily inferred from the words pronounced by Adam when taking Eve as his wife, which was afterward confirmed by Christ our Lord in the Gospel: “Therefore a man shall leave father and mother and shall cleave to his wife, and they shall be two in one flesh.” It is also inferred from the words of the Apostle: “The wife has no power over her own body but the husband, and in like manner, the husband has no power over his own body but the wife.”
Justly, then, did the Lord in the Old Testament ordain the most severe penalties against adulterers who violated this conjugal fidelity. Matrimonial fidelity also demands that spouses love one another with a special, holy, and pure love, not as adulterers love one another, but as Christ loves His church. This is the rule laid down by the Apostle when he says, “Husbands, love your wives as Christ loved the church.” Surely, Christ’s love for His church was immense. It was a love inspired not by His own advantage, but only by the good of His spouse. And so it should be for the husband towards his wife.
The third blessing is the sacrament, or rather, the sacramental dignity of matrimony. This is the special advantage of matrimony, that is to say, the indissoluble bond of marriage because of its sacramental dignity. As the Apostle has said, the Lord commanded that the wife depart not from her husband, and if she does depart, that she remain unmarried or be reconciled to her husband. Likewise, “let not the husband put away his wife.”
And truly, if marriage is a sacrament and as a sacrament it represents the union of Christ with His true Church, it necessarily follows that just as Christ never separates Himself from His Church, so too, the wife can never be separated from her husband as far as the marriage bond is concerned. Thus, a Catholic couple will find that the blessings of marriage increase daily through an abundance of divine graces. By living a life of piety, husband, and wife will not only spend this life in peace and tranquility but will also rest in the true and firm hope that does not disappoint in attaining, through God’s goodness, the possession of eternal life.
Christopher Wendt: Thank you, Your Excellency, for that teaching on the traditional and Catholic view of the sacrament of holy matrimony. I just have one quick question. Any advice, Your Excellency, for all the married couples out there? There are many of them. Any suggestions?
His Excellency: Yes, please. If you are married validly in a Catholic marriage, consider this really as your vocation from God, a holy vocation. Married life is a sign that represents the union of Christ with His Church. What a dignity! What a dignity you have to be a father, a mother, to have this dignity of the sacrament, especially to give life to future possible citizens of heaven for all eternity. What a beauty, what a dignity!
For this, imagine you will have given your life to someone who will be with God for all eternity. This is both a responsibility and a joy. For this elevated dignity and aim, you must be ready also to bear difficulties, to accept crosses and trials. It is worthwhile to give life to a future citizen of heaven. While it is not absolute certainty, we hope and pray that your children will reach heaven.
So this is your dignity. And you must put, as Archbishop Fulton Sheen said, this beautiful marriage is not between two, but between three. You must always put Christ the Lord between you. This will help you in difficulty. When the Lord is truly the center of both you, your family, and your children, then you will have greater strength and power to bear the crosses and trials, which will then be blessed for the sake of your own holiness and that of your children.
Christopher Wendt: Thank you, Your Excellency, for those words of exhortation very beautiful. Could you close us with a prayer and also your blessing?
His Excellency: In the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit. Amen.
Kyrie Eleison! Christe Eleison! Kyrie Eleison! Lord Jesus Christ,
You are the Good Shepherd! With Your almighty hand, You guide Your pilgrim Church through the storms of each age.
Adorn the Holy See with holy popes who neither fear the powerful of this world nor compromise with the spirit of the age, but preserve, strengthen, and defend the Catholic Faith unto the shedding of their blood, and observe, protect, and hand on the venerable liturgy of the Roman Church.
O Lord, return to us through holy popes who, inflamed with the zeal of the Apostles, proclaim to the whole world: “Salvation is found in no other than in Jesus Christ. For there is no other name under heaven given to men by which they should be saved” (see Acts 4:10-12).
Through an era of holy popes, may the Holy See, which is home to all who promote the Catholic and Apostolic Faith, always shine as the cathedra of truth for the whole world. Hear us, O Lord, and through the intercession of the Immaculate Heart of Mary, Mother of the Church, grant us holy Popes, grant us many holy Popes! Have mercy on us and hear us! Amen.
Dominus vobiscum.
Christopher Wendt: Et cum spiritu tuo.
His Excellency: Et benedictio Dei Omnipotentis: Patris, et Filii, et Spiritus Sancti, descendat super vos et maneat semper. Amen.
Praise be Jesus Christ!
Christopher Wendt: Now and forever!
This concludes our broadcast for the year. We’ll have a question-and-answer session on the other side of next year in 2025. Until then, we wish you all a blessed Advent and a blessed Christmas with all your families. Ave Maria.
