Christopher Wendt: Good evening, everyone. Good evening, Your Excellency.
His Excellency: Good evening.
Christopher Wendt: I greet all members of the Confraternity and all guests for our broadcast tonight in October. Tonight’s broadcast is going to be a catechism class on the fourth commandment, Honor your father and mother, and the next broadcast in November will be a question-and-answer session. Without further ado, Your Excellency, could you start us off with a prayer?
His Excellency: In nomine Patris et Filii et Spiritus Sancti, Amen.
Ave Maria, gratia plena, Dominus tecum. Benedicta tu in mulieribus et benedictus fructus ventris tui Iesus. Sancta Maria Mater Dei, ora pro nobis peccatoribus nunc et in hora mortis nostrae, Amen.
Gloria Patri et Filio et Spiritui Sancto sicut erat in principio et nunc et semper et in saecula saeculorum, Amen.
In nomine Patris et Filii et Spiritus Sancti, Amen.
Christopher Wendt: Your Excellency, go ahead.
His Excellency: We speak today about the fourth commandment of God, according to the explanation of the Catechism of the Council of Trent and of St Thomas Aquinas, Honor thy father and thy mother that thou mayest be long lived upon the land which the Lord thy God will give thee. This is the text of Holy Scripture. The first three commandments tend directly to God, and the object of the others is the charity we owe to our neighbor, although even these are ultimately referred to God since we love our neighbor on account of God, our last end. Hence Christ our Lord has declared that the two commandments which inculcate the love of God and of our neighbor are like unto each other, together bound, but the first importance is to love God.
The observance of the first commandment affords a test of our obedience to and observance of the first commandment. He that loves not his brother whom he sees, says St. John the Apostle, how can he love God whom he sees not. In like manner, if we do not honor and reverence our parents, whom we ought to love next to God and whom we continually see, how can we honor or reverence God, the supreme and best of parents, whom we see not. Hence, we can easily perceive the similarity between these two commands. The application of this commandment is of very great extent. Besides our natural parents, there are many others whose power, rank, usefulness, exalted functions, or office entitle them to parental honor. Furthermore, this commandment lightens the labor of parents and superiors, for their chief care is that those under them should live according to virtue and according to the Divine Law. One has to distinguish the commandments of the first table from those of the second table of the Ten Commandments.
This order of the commandments is especially appropriate since the very collocation points out to us their difference in nature. For whatever is commanded or prohibited in Scripture by the Divine Law springs from one of two principles, the love of God or the love of our neighbor. One or the other of these is the basis of every duty required of us. The three preceding commandments teach us the love which we owe to God, and the other seven the duties which we owe to our neighbor and to public society. The arrangement, therefore, which assigns some of the commandments to the first and others to the second table is not without good reason. In the first three commandments, which have been explained by God, the supreme good is, as it were, the subject matter. In the others, it is the good of our neighbor. The former requires the highest love. The latter requires the love next to the highest love. The former have to do with our last end and the latter with those things that lead us to our last end. The love of God terminates in God himself, for God is to be loved above all things for His own sake. The love of our neighbor originates in and is to be regulated by the love of God.
If we love our parents, obey our masters, respect our superiors, our ruling principle in doing so should be that God is their Creator and wishes to give preeminence to those by whose cooperation He governs and protects other men. As He requires that we yield due respect to such persons, we should do so because He deems them worthy of this honor. If we honor our parents, the tribute is paid to God rather than to man. Accordingly, we read in St Matthew concerning duty to superiors, He that receives you receives me. And the Apostle in his epistle to the Ephesians, giving instruction to servants, says, Servants be obedient to them that are your lords according to the flesh with fear and trembling in the simplicity of your heart as to Christ, not serving to the eye as it were pleasing men but as the servants of Christ and pleasing God. Moreover, to honor, no honor, no piety, no devotion can be rendered to God sufficiently worthy of Him since love of God admits of infinite increase. Hence, our charity should become every day more fervent towards God who commands us to love Him with our whole heart, our whole soul, and with all our strength. The love of our neighbor, on the contrary, has its limits, for the Lord commands us to love our neighbor as ourselves. To outstep these limits by loving our neighbors as we love God would be an enormous crime. If any man come to me, says the Lord, and hate not his father and mother and wife and children and brethren and sisters, yes, his own life, he cannot be my disciple. In the same way, the one who would first attend the burial of his father and then follow Christ, our Lord, said, Let the dead bury their dead. The same lesson is more clearly conveyed in St Matthew: He that loves father or mother more than me is not worthy of me. Parents no doubt are to be highly loved and respected, but religion requires that supreme honor and homage be given to God alone, who is the Creator and Father of all, and that all our love for our earthly parents be referred to our Eternal Father, who is in heaven. Should the injunctions of parents be at any time opposed to the commandments of God, children are to prefer the will of God to the desires of their parents, always keeping in view the divine maxim, we ought to obey God rather than men.
Also, the commandment refers primarily to our natural parents and fathers, yet the name belongs to others also, and these seem to be indicated in the commandment as we can easily gather from numerous passages of Scripture. Besides our natural father, there are others who in Scripture are called fathers, and to each of these we have to give proper honor. In the first place are the shepherds of the Church, the hierarchy. The bishops and priests are also called fathers, as is evident from the Apostle Paul, who, writing to the Corinthians, says, I write not these things to confound you, but I admonish you as my dearest children. For if you have ten thousand instructors in Christ, yet not many fathers, for in Christ Jesus by the gospel I have begotten you. It is also written in the Book of Ecclesiasticus, let us praise men of renown and our fathers in their generation. So the name father is also applied to those to whose care, fidelity, probity, and wisdom others are committed, such as teachers, instructors, masters, and guardians, and hence the sons of the prophets called Elias and Elisha their father. This commandment contains the obligation of honoring all who are entitled to be called fathers, especially our natural fathers of whom the divine commandment particularly speaks. They are, so to speak, images of the immortal God. In them, we behold a picture of our own origin. From them we have received existence. God made use of them to infuse into us our body and our soul, the immortal soul, reason, and understanding. On account of this, we must honor our mother also. The name mother is mentioned in this commandment in order to remind us of her benefits and claims in our regard, of the care and solicitude with which the mother bore us, and of the pain and labor with which she gave us birth and brought us up.
The honor which children are commanded to pay to their parents should be the spontaneous offering of sincere and dutiful love. This is nothing more than their due, since, for love of us, parents usually shrink from no labor, no exertion, and no danger. Saint Joseph in the Old Testament, when he enjoyed in Egypt the highest station and the most ample power after the king of Egypt himself, received with much honor his father, who had come into Egypt. Solomon rose to meet his mother as she approached, and having paid her respect, placed her on a royal throne on his right hand. We also owe to our parents other duties of respect, such as to supplicate God on their behalf that they may lead prosperous and happy lives, beloved and esteemed by all who know them and most pleasing in the sight of God. We also honor them by our submission to them. My son, says Solomon, hear the instruction of thy father and forsake not the law of thy mother, that grace may be added to thy head and a chain of gold to thy neck. Of the same kind are the exhortations of St Paul, children, he says, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is just, and also, children, obey your parents in all things, for this is well pleasing to the Lord.
We also honor our parents by the imitation of their good example, for to seek to resemble closely anyone is the highest mark of esteem. We also honor them when we not only ask but follow their advice. We also honor our parents when we relieve their necessities, supplying them with necessary food and clothing, according to the words of Christ, who, when reproving the impiety of the Pharisees, said, Why do you also transgress the commandments of God because of your traditions? For God said, Honor thy father and thy mother, and he that shall curse father or mother, let him die the death. But you say, whosoever shall say to his father or mother, the gift whatsoever proceeds from me shall profit thee, and then does not honor his father or his mother, you have made void the commandment of God. If at all times it is our duty to honor our parents, this duty becomes still more imperative when they are visited by severe illness or old age. We should then see to it that they do not neglect confession and the other sacraments, which every Christian should receive at the approach of death.
We should also see that pious and religious persons visit them frequently to strengthen their weakness, assist them by their counsel, and animate them to the hope of immortality, that, having risen above the concerns of this world, they may fix their thoughts entirely on God. Thus, blessed with the sublime virtues of faith, hope, and charity, and fortified by the helps of our holy Catholic religion, they will not only look at death without fear, since it is necessary, but will even welcome it as it hastens their entrance into eternity. Finally, we honor our parents even after their death by attending their funerals, procuring for them suitable obsequies and burial, having due suffrages and anniversary masses offered for them, and faithfully executing their last wills. We are bound to honor not only our natural parents, but also others who are called fathers, such as bishops, priests, tutors, masters, teachers, aged persons, and the like, all of whom are entitled, some in greater, some in a lesser degree, to share our love, obedience, and assistance.
The honor due to bishops and priests is written, let the priests that rule well be esteemed worthy of double honor, especially they who labor in the word and doctrine, says St Paul. What wondrous proofs of love the Galatians must have shown for the Apostle St Paul, for he bears this splendid testimony of their benevolence, I bear you witness that if it could be done, you would have plucked out your own eyes and would have given them to me, writes St Paul to the Galatians.
The priest is also entitled to receive whatever is necessary for his support. Who, says the Apostle, serves as a soldier at his own charges. Give honor to the priests, it is written in the Book of Ecclesiasticus, and purify thyself with thy alms. Give them their portion as it is commanded thee of the first fruits, says Holy Scripture. The Apostle also teaches that they are entitled to obedience, obey your shepherds and be subject to them, says the Apostle in the Epistle to the Hebrews, for they watch as being to render an account of your souls. Christ the Lord commands obedience even to wicked pastors, saying, Upon the chair of Moses have sat the scribes and Pharisees, all things therefore whatsoever they shall say to you, observe and do, but according to their works do you not, for they say and do not. Then we have to honor the civil rulers.
The same is to be said of civil rulers, governors, magistrates, and others to whose authority we are subject. The Apostle in the Epistle to the Romans explains at length the honor, respect, and obedience that should be shown them, and he also bids us to pray for them. St Peter says, be subject therefore to every human creature for God’s sake, whether it be to the king as excelling or to governors as sent by him, for whatever honor we show them is given to God, since exalted human dignity deserves respect because it is an image of the divine power, and in it we revere the providence of God, who has entrusted to man the care of public affairs and who uses them as the instruments of His power. If we sometimes have wicked and unworthy officials, it is not their faults that we revere, but the authority from God which they possess. Indeed, while it may seem strange, we are not excused from highly honoring them even when they show themselvesto be hostile towards us. Thus David rendered great services to Saul even when the latter was his bitter enemy, and to these he alludes when he says, with them that hate peace I was peaceful. However, should the commands of rulers be wicked or unjust, they should not be obeyed, since in such a case they rule not according to their rightful authority, but according to injustice and perversity. Having explained these matters, we must also look at the other aspect of the reward.
The promise is contained in this commandment, that thou mayest be long lived, says the Lord. That reward is great indeed, for it consists principally in length of days. Those who always preserve the grateful remembrance of a benefit deserve to be blessed with its prolonged enjoyment. Children, therefore, who honor their parents and gratefully acknowledge the blessing of life received from them are deservedly rewarded with the protracted enjoyment of that life to an advanced age. The divine promise includes not only the eternal life of the blessed, but also the life which we lead on earth according to the interpretation of St Paul. He says, piety is profitable to all things, having promise of the life that now is and of that life which is to come. Many very holy men, it is true, such as Job, David, and Paul, desire to die, and a long life is burdensome to the afflicted, but the reward which is here promised in this commandment is nonetheless neither inconsiderable nor to be despised. The additional words, which the Lord thy God will give thee, promise not only length of days but also repose, tranquility, and security, for in the Book of Deuteronomy it is not only said, that thou mayest live a long time, but it is also added, and that it may be well with thee, words afterwards quoted by the Apostle. Why this reward is not always conferred on dutiful children, these blessings, we say, are conferred on those whose piety God rewards.
Otherwise, the divine promises would not be fulfilled, since the more dutiful child is sometimes the more short-lived. This happens sometimes because it is better for him to depart from this world before he has strayed from the path of virtue. In fidelity to the Lord, he was taken away lest wickedness should alter his understanding or deceit beguile his soul, says Holy Scripture, or because destruction or general upheaval are impending, he is called away that he may escape the calamities of these times. The just man, says the Prophet, is taken away from before the face of evil, lest his virtue and salvation be endangered when God avenges the crimes of men, or else he is spared the bitter anguish of witnessing the calamities of his friends and relations in such evil days. The premature death of the good, therefore, is included in divine providence and in His eternal rewards. Then there are punishments for violation of this commandment.
If God promises rewards and blessings to grateful children, He also reserves the heaviest chastisements to punish those who are wanting in filial piety, for it is written, he that curses his father or mother shall die the death. He that afflicts his father and chases away his mother is infamous and unhappy. He that curses his father or mother, his lamp shall be put out in the midst of darkness. The eye that mocks at his father and despises the labor of his mother in bearing him, let the ravens of the brooks pick it out, and the young eagles eat it, so says Holy Scripture. On account of the sin of disobedience of Absalom to his father, David, he did not go unpunished. On account of this sin, Absalom perished miserably, transfixed by the lances. Then there are the duties of parents towards their children.
As the law of God commands children to honor, obey, and respect their parents, so there are reciprocal duties which parents owe to their children. Parents are obliged to bring up their children in the knowledge and practice of the true Catholic religion. This is the first duty, and to give them the best rules for the regulation of their lives, so that, instructed and trained in the Catholic faith, they may serve God holily and constantly. It was thus, as we read in Holy Scripture, that the parents of Susanna acted. The priests, therefore, should admonish parents to be to their children in the virtues of justice, chastity, modesty, holiness, and faith. There are three things to be avoided by parents. In the first place, they are not by words or actions to exercise too much harshness towards their children. This is the first to avoid harshness. This is the instruction of St Paul in his Epistle to the Colossians, fathers, provoke not your children to anger lest they be discouraged, for there is danger that the spirit of the child may be broken and he becomes abject and fearful of everything.
Hence, parents must avoid too much severity and choose rather to correct their children than to take revenge upon them. Should a fault be committed which requires reproof, the parents should not, by undue indulgence, overlook its correction. Children are often spoiled by too much leniency and indulgence on the part of their parents. There is the warning example of Heli in Holy Scripture, the high priest who, on account of overindulgence to his sons, was visited by God with the heaviest chastisements. Parents should not have as their sole concern to leave their children wealth, riches, and an ample and splendid fortune while neglecting the eternal salvation of their children. So we can summarize the commandment, the fourth commandment, as follows: perfection for man consists in the love of God and of neighbor. Now the three commandments which were written on the first tablet pertain to the love of God. For the love of neighbor, there were the seven commandments on the second tablet, but we must love not in word nor in tongue, but in deed and in truth, says St John. For a man to love thus, he must do two things, namely, avoid evil and do good.
Certain of the commandments prescribe good acts while others forbid evil deeds. We must also know that to avoid evil is in our power, but we are incapable of doing good to everyone. Thus St Augustine says that we should love all, but we are incapable of doing good to everyone. We must love all, but we are not bound to do good to all. It is not always in our power, but among those to whom we are bound to do good are those in some way united to us. Thus says St Paul, if any man has not care of his own and especially of those of his house, he has denied the faith. Amongst all our relatives, there are none closer than our father and mother. We ought to love God first, says St Ambrose, and then our father and mother. Hence God has given us the commandment, Honor thy father and thy mother.
So the ways to honor our parents concretely, cultivate an interior attitude of respect and esteem for parents as co-creators and co-providers with God, as well as their being your first teachers. Then offer them a sincere daily prayer. Once in a while, have a mass offered for their intentions. Bring them to mass and the sacraments. If they are already aged, visit your parents often. Sympathize with them in their sorrows, worries, and troubles. Listen to them and do them the honor of consulting them, making them feel needed, although you may not be bound to follow their counsel. You may, however, walk away surprised and enriched by their wisdom. Bring your children to see them. Encourage your own children to make small gifts for them. Congratulate them on their birthdays, anniversaries, and holidays. Give them something they enjoy. Include them in the celebrations. Seek to do small favors for them. Provide for them when they lack financially. Take care of them when they are sick. Assist them with prayers and, when possible, with your presence when they are dying. The word of God, which commands us, remains valid and brings us many blessings. Honor thy father and thy mother, that thou mayest be long lived, God will give thee. Thank you.
Christopher Wendt: Thank you, Your Excellency, for that reflection on the fourth commandment. I do have one question before we go. This came up before. How, what is the best way, let us say you have adult children, and the father or the mother does really uncharitable things at family gatherings. Is it appropriate, or what would be the best way, if there needs to be an intervention or a respectful conversation? How would you think somebody should go about that?
His Excellency: Well, we have always, even if the parents do something which is not according to morality or to our Catholic faith or really hurts the objective laws of God or the Catholic faith, then the children, the adult children, should respectfully point this out and say that they cannot collaborate in these things, but it should be spoken with calm and respect nevertheless.
Christopher Wendt: Thank you, Your Excellency. That is all for this evening. Could you lead us in a closing prayer?
His Excellency: In the name of the Father and the Son and the Holy Spirit, Amen.
Kyrie eleison, Christe eleison, Kyrie eleison. Lord Jesus Christ, you are the good shepherd. With your almighty hand, guide your pilgrim Church through the storms of each age. Adorn the Holy See with holy popes who neither fear the powerful of this world nor compromise with the spirit of the age, but preserve, strengthen, and defend the Catholic faith unto the shedding of their blood, and who observe, protect, and tend the venerable liturgy of the Roman Church.
O Lord, return to us holy popes who, inflamed with the zeal of the apostles, proclaim to the whole world that salvation is found in no other than in Jesus Christ, for there is no other name under heaven given to man by which they should be saved. Through an era of holy popes, may the Holy See, which is home to all who promote the Catholic and Apostolic Faith, always shine as the cathedral of truth for the whole world. Hear us, O Lord, and through the intercession of the Immaculate Heart of Mary, Mother of the Church, grant us holy popes. Grant us many holy popes. Have mercy on us and hear us. Amen.
Dominus vobiscum.
Christopher Wendt: Et cum spiritu tuo.
His Excellency: Benedictio Dei omnipotentis, Patris et Filii et Spiritus Sancti descendat super vos et maneat semper, Amen. Praise be Jesus Christ.
Christopher Wendt: Now and forever. Thank you, Your Excellency. As I said at the beginning, stay tuned next time for a question-and-answer session. You can start sending your questions in. That will be in November, and until next time, Ave Maria.